I got into a discussion with a guy friend recently about the subject of solo parenting. I'm speaking from a guy point of view here.
Just to clarify this is not solo parenting because you are not currently involved with someone, etc. This is the kind of solo parenting where your schedule and your wife's schedule make it so that you're forced to be on your own more than just a couple hours a week.
In our case, Mel's schedule is such that it gives her the flexibility to make her own hours as she deems fit. But it also means that yours truly has to take the reins and commandeer the ship most of the day on Saturday or Sunday and at least one evening a week depending on what all else is going on. But we make it work.
I know that in many cases, men struggle with this. I mean by this point there's got to be about a million studies full of all sorts of science and crap that all point to hey look, genius, you're a man and you suck at solo parenting. Women are and always will be the best at this. The tiny humans who now live with you once lived inside her for 9 months, so OF COURSE she's going to be the true G.O.A.T at this.
So for the male population, here are a few tips to make your solo parenting experience a better, less lay curled up in a ball on the floor in a puddle of your own tears sort of one.
Let's start with a basic one.
- Establish a routine: This is something you should really start off doing pretty much from the moment you get home from the hospital anyway. Some parents don't, and that's okay. I'm not here to judge. But when you have a routine of waking up, going down for nap, when to make a bottle etc it makes the day so much easier for everyone involved. This is especially true when you have multiple children at home and many ages to consider. Call it a guide to plan out your day. Which kind of sveltely segues into the next talking point...
- Don't be afraid to get out and do stuff: Look, I'm not saying it'll never be rough. Chances are, it will be. As well as awful. And downright chaotic. But the only way you're going to get better at this is if you actually take your clan and go do stuff with them. Don't forget about the first thing we just talked about and mind the clock if you have to, so that way you're back home in enough time to get everybody down for a nap. Best of all, the better you get at this the more comfortable you're going to feel with stretching things out a little more and maybe spending a little longer somewhere than you normally would.
To piggyback onto this one, don't just resort to movies and Netflix all day. Instead, use getting to watch a movie or a few Paw Patrols or something as a reward to yourself and your kids from a good excursion out running errands at Home Depot or something. That way you get a little downtime out of it.
I know, I know, it's going to suck not being at home watching College Gameday on Saturday mornings. I've been there. Set it to record and watch it all later. And tell your buddies to leave you alone, you've got some solo parenting to do.
- Always be preparin': Bring that backpack with you when you go out. Load it up with essentials. You'll want plenty of snacks, water cups, maybe have a bottle ready, wipes and diapers if you need them, maybe a change of underwear and pants if you have a child who's in the middle of potty training. You never know when you'll be in a bind.
And kind of on that same note, also plan on having your kids use the potty before you leave to go out somewhere. And if you own a family minivan and have enough room, portable toilet seats are beneficial to keep in there.
- Find something cheap to go do: Going out and doing stuff with your kids doesn't always have to hit you in the wallet. Going to the movies is getting pretty expensive. Taking everyone to a ballgame requires a small loan. But hey, here's a little tip from me to you: Parks are your friend. Or a perennial favorite of ours, is dropping 5 bucks for a ticket to ride the new TexRail train that takes you west to Fort Worth or east to the big airport. The last stop in Fort Worth drops you off across the street from the Water Gardens. Pack a lunch of some snacks, and it's a great way to kill off a morning. And what kid doesn't love running around an airport terminal, huh? It's an airport! With planes! And other stuff! Or just take them to the Founders Plaza next to the runways and watch planes land. Plenty of room to let the little ones run around like maniacs.
And finally,
- Naptime, your BFF: When you get home from doing whatever, and children A, B, and C head off to their room for naps, use that time wisely. Nap also. You could definitely use the mental recharge.
So that's all I have. Nothing too earth shattering but I hope these survival tips help make your solo parenting time more enjoyable and less traumatic.
