Solo parenting

I got into a discussion with a guy friend recently about the subject of solo parenting. I'm speaking from a guy point of view here.

Just to clarify this is not solo parenting because you are not currently involved with someone, etc. This is the kind of solo parenting where your schedule and your wife's schedule make it so that you're forced to be on your own more than just a couple hours a week.

In our case, Mel's schedule is such that it gives her the flexibility to make her own hours as she deems fit. But it also means that yours truly has to take the reins and commandeer the ship most of the day on Saturday or Sunday and at least one evening a week depending on what all else is going on. But we make it work.

I know that in many cases, men struggle with this. I mean by this point there's got to be about a million studies full of all sorts of science and crap that all point to hey look, genius, you're a man and you suck at solo parenting. Women are and always will be the best at this. The tiny humans who now live with you once lived inside her for 9 months, so OF COURSE she's going to be the true G.O.A.T at this.

So for the male population, here are a few tips to make your solo parenting experience a better, less lay curled up in a ball on the floor in a puddle of your own tears sort of one.

Let's start with a basic one.

- Establish a routine: This is something you should really start off doing pretty much from the moment you get home from the hospital anyway. Some parents don't, and that's okay. I'm not here to judge. But when you have a routine of waking up, going down for nap, when to make a bottle etc it makes the day so much easier for everyone involved. This is especially true when you have multiple children at home and many ages to consider. Call it a guide to plan out your day. Which kind of sveltely segues into the next talking point...

- Don't be afraid to get out and do stuff: Look, I'm not saying it'll never be rough. Chances are, it will be. As well as awful. And downright chaotic. But the only way you're going to get better at this is if you actually take your clan and go do stuff with them. Don't forget about the first thing we just talked about and mind the clock if you have to, so that way you're back home in enough time to get everybody down for a nap. Best of all, the better you get at this the more comfortable you're going to feel with stretching things out a little more and maybe spending a little longer somewhere than you normally would.

To piggyback onto this one, don't just resort to movies and Netflix all day. Instead, use getting to watch a movie or a few Paw Patrols or something as a reward to yourself and your kids from a good excursion out running errands at Home Depot or something. That way you get a little downtime out of it.

I know, I know, it's going to suck not being at home watching College Gameday on Saturday mornings. I've been there. Set it to record and watch it all later. And tell your buddies to leave you alone, you've got some solo parenting to do.

- Always be preparin': Bring that backpack with you when you go out. Load it up with essentials. You'll want plenty of snacks, water cups, maybe have a bottle ready, wipes and diapers if you need them, maybe a change of underwear and pants if you have a child who's in the middle of potty training. You never know when you'll be in a bind.

And kind of on that same note, also plan on having your kids use the potty before you leave to go out somewhere. And if you own a family minivan and have enough room, portable toilet seats are beneficial to keep in there.

- Find something cheap to go do: Going out and doing stuff with your kids doesn't always have to hit you in the wallet. Going to the movies is getting pretty expensive. Taking everyone to a ballgame requires a small loan. But hey, here's a little tip from me to you: Parks are your friend. Or a perennial favorite of ours, is dropping 5 bucks for a ticket to ride the new TexRail train that takes you west to Fort Worth or east to the big airport. The last stop in Fort Worth drops you off across the street from the Water Gardens. Pack a lunch of some snacks, and it's a great way to kill off a morning. And what kid doesn't love running around an airport terminal, huh? It's an airport! With planes! And other stuff! Or just take them to the Founders Plaza next to the runways and watch planes land. Plenty of room to let the little ones run around like maniacs.

And finally,

- Naptime, your BFF: When you get home from doing whatever, and children A, B, and C head off to their room for naps, use that time wisely. Nap also. You could definitely use the mental recharge.

So that's all I have. Nothing too earth shattering but I hope these survival tips help make your solo parenting time more enjoyable and less traumatic.

It's baseball season

If you've perused our fine work here for any period of time, you've probably come to realize one of two basic principles in terms of subject matter you will find on this blog.

1. We truly love talking about our kids. Obviously.

2. We truly love talking about baseball.

And hey, wow, what a great tie-in. Funny, it's like I almost had it planned that way. Because as you may or may not already know this week is Opening Day across major league baseball.

To be perfectly honest I've completely lost track of how many Rangers' Opening Days I've attended. Best estimate is probably somewhere between the range of fifteen and twenty. It didn't slow down when Maddie came along, not with Norah, and now not with Jack (although he will be missing this year's festivities again due to age limit restrictions imposed by Mom and Dad). So yes, one might say it takes a lot for one of us to miss an Opening Day.

If you need further evidence of this, back in 2009 when we were still all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed fresh from our honeymoon in Belize and right about 2 weeks into being a married couple, Mel and I watched the Rangers play the Indians in the first game of the season while she was suffering from a massive case of vertigo. I'm pretty sure she puked on the way to the ballpark at least once or twice, and then a couple of times there as well. Were it not for the TLC of our favorite usher Fred, who knows how many more times she would have called up Ralph on the big white telephone that day.

As for my own personal experiences of going to Opening Day, they didn't really ramp up until the current ballpark was built. I was not at the first game of the year in 1994, as I spent the second half of that school day at Harwood Junior High trying to squeeze in as much listening to the game as I could with a tiny walkman and some inconspicuous looking earbuds.

(Note: This was 1994 so there was not such a thing as inconspicuous looking earbuds really.)

But without fail, every year saw that excitement plant a seed and begin to grow through spring training and ultimately reach a crescendo on that one particular spring day at the start of a new season. What began as a kid continues on in adulthood.

I assume it will never go away. I hope it will never go away. And truthfully, if one of the biggest joys you get as a parent is to watch your children grow up and succeed at something in life then I would offer to you another is to be able to share the love of the great game and the beginning of a new season with your kids. To be able to look in their eyes and see that excitement that you know is genuine because for the first time in 6 long months, you get to go the ballpark to watch a baseball game: That's an awesome thing.

So let's not beat around the bush or whatever here: Opening Day 2019 will surely be a little more melancholy than some of the others, and I think you all know why. Corporate greed has won out over fan emotions.....maybe not of all fans, but of many.

Sad, but ultimately true (in my opinion).

But I digress. We'll be there this year. And the year after that, in some strange new ballpark we never wanted to see built in the first place. And the year after that.

And for many years to come.

Because after all.



It's what we do.

Idle time

Where's that soap box? Ah, there it is.

So writing about anything these days, is hard.

There are so many things I'd like to talk about. I probably need to talk about for therapeutic reasons. Heck, I just got done a few weeks ago talking about how writing (or blogging) is good for the soul. Welp.

But the fact of the matter is this: In all of our daily lives where it feels like we solo parent more often than not, it's difficult when you have the opportunity, to not just sit on the couch and detach.

Detach when it's nap time (or some semblance of nap time) for your children. Detach when everybody goes to bed at the end of the night. When all you want to do is flip on a game or your favorite streaming service and get caught up on whatever wets your whistle on Hulu or Netflix, etc.......just detach. I struggle with this I think worse than anybody at times.

But the truth of the matter is, those times of quietness can usually be among the worst.

So here's what I propose you (and I) do to make your down time seem a little less "down".

I contest that it's not a horrible thing to sit down and watch whatever's on television as long as it's in moderation. Hey look, there's some really great stuff on right now. We fly the This Is Us flag proudly in this house. The Good Doctor and A Million Little Things are also big players. We even enjoy the occasional documentary on Netflix.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying them in moderation, as log as you're not punting on your responsibilities you may also have on your plate.

But before you settle in for the night. Before you throw on your favorite, well-worn pair of sweatpants or hoodie that you've worn 11 consecutive days in a row, do one thing constructive with your time.

It can be anything. Go out for a run. Tidy up your closet. (Sup', Marie Kondo). Empty or load the dishwasher. (Or both). Something.

Maybe even read for a bit. An actual book - not on a computer screen or even a Kindle. I think that flipping pages in an actual book provides your brain with some context that scrolling through a longform article on a webpage does not.

After you do that, I promise your down time for the remainder of the evening will seem that much more gratifying. Give it a try.

End soap box.

New year, new blog

What did you do on NYE? Did you go out and celebrate? Were you one of the lucky ones to be out in Times Square? Or did you stay home and watch a Christmas movie with your kids while everyone dined on the finest peanut butter and jelly sandwiches imaginable?

(That's what we did.)

Let's talk resolutions for a moment.

What are some of yours? Lose weight?

Travel more?

Complain less?

Let's be honest, we all have approximately 382 of them and maybe, just maybe we're able to stick with and do a relatively good job of staying true to one of them.

I'll share mine with you right now. It's a pretty simple one.

Sure I have this massive different conglomeration of things I want to do in 2019 just like everybody else. Love my kids more. Be a better husband. But the main resolution I have for 2019 is this:

Write more. It's good for the soul.

So that's what I plan on doing.

Happy new year!

Dear Sonshine

Dear Sonshine Academy, 

Last week our 5 year old daughter graduated from you. Today is her last day to be a student with you. She is no longer a Pre-K'er.

(Sidenote: Whoa.)

Yes, our oldest daughter is growing up and let me tell you, we're not sad about this at all. Nope. Not at all. Not in the least. And if you believe this, I also have some ocean front property in Arizona you might be interested in.

Norah was thrilled about this picture too. Promise. 

It feels like the time she spent with you guys zoomed by at light speed. I mean just absolutely flew. The craziest part of it all: Maddie was only a student there one full school year, even though it feels like it was so very much longer. But man, the growing up that we all did during that school year there was unreal. The tender care you guys gave to not just Maddie but both our daughters, and the encouragement and support all the time is something we will never forget.

We came to you guys last August a little worried, a little apprehensive, a little tentative considering some of the issues we had been through with the last school Maddie attended. But all those fears quickly subsided and the amount of growth and progress she's shown in the year we spent with you frankly brings tears to our eyes. 

We know there were plenty of times along the way where things maybe seemed like a bit much for her to handle and Maddie decided she'd rather sit this one out. Animals she didn't want to pet or see. Big noisy firetrucks. And yeah, maybe she was the only one who didn't want to wear her mortarboard during graduation last week. But you guys never forced her to do something she didn't want and loved on her anyway. For the awesome little kid that she is. And we can't tell you how much that means to us.

So thanks to you, Sonshine Academy. Thank you, Mrs. Nan. For reasons we don't understand and probably never will, but the compassion you've shown Maddie has been a game changer. Thank you Sarah and Carolyn, for all your hard work this school year and the gospel-centered love you've shown to our big kid.

Thank you for causing two parents with so many anxieties about a 5-year old like ours to be able to breathe a little bit, if only for five hours a day.

Please know you will always have a special place with us. Always.

What Ranger Baseball Means To Me

You all will have to grant me a little levity for this rather 4th grade book report title sounding blog post, but it's the morning after another particularly soul-crushing loss by your Texas Rangers and I feel the need to vent a little bit. 

Before we get into all that: Hey! How's it going? Long time no see, huh? We've been pretty busy with new jobs and t-ball games now and just generally watching our children grow up before our very eyes. So, you know, normal stuff. 

But I chose this subject matter today because often times I think back to an earlier point in my life as a sports fan, where I miss the days of not caring whether my team made it to the playoffs. I didn't care about things like winning the division or clinching home field advantage throughout the playoffs - all I cared about was whether we won or lost that day. Each day was like a little miniature Game 7 of the World Series to me. 

Then there are times when I reminisce about not caring about sports at all. When all that mattered to me was how long I would have to sit in the backseat of my parents light blue Oldsmobile 98 listening to Christopher Cross sing "Sailling" while on my way to swim lessons. 

There were two times in my life both of those feelings reached peak emotional levels at the same time for me: One was in Game 6, 2011 World Series, and the other was last night. The only reason last year's ALDS exit at the hand of the Blue Jays and Jose Bautista isn't also a part of that list is that I was at work at the time and was distracted by my job thankfully.

But last night....

I'm not so much sad over losing, because with the way that series had gone if the game remained tied into extra innings it was almost a foregone conclusion for me. But the way that team played, and lost - badly - is what really sticks in my craw. Best record in the American League? Didn't mean squat. Home fiend advantage? Didn't mean squat. Didn't feel like squat either what with two home games in the middle of the day at home that nobody cared about or watched on television because they were in the middle of the day.

What it did mean was that our pitching, and our hitting, both failed us at the absolute worst time. Sure there were red flags up about the shortcomings of our pitching all throughout the month of September, but the offensive disappearance was pretty ugly and deflating at the same time. If you had to pick an MVP of a series that you lost, it'd probably be Alex Claudio. Or maybe Matt Bush for basically telling the rest of the team last night, "hey since the rest of you guys can't pitch worth a crap just leave this to me."

So there it goes. Like a floater in the toilet bowl, another season flushed down the drain. 

And really, as much as I have just ranted and raved about what this season means to me, I think Mel and I would both agree that we're more sad for our 3-year old who had to wake up this morning to the news that there's no more Rangers to watch this year. No more going to the ballpark. No more Ian Desmond (her favorite). She probably doesn't understand all that right now. Plus we can still watch other games or MLB Network as much as we want to or will let her. But until next April, it's all over for her and for us. 

There's a guy I follow on Twitter for TCU related sports tweets who is a big Red Sox fan, and I think it's the 2004 World Series he's made mention of going in and waking his son or daughter up to watch the final out. This is something that I've dreamed about being able to do with our girls one day and how it would play out. Would I run in screaming like a mad man? Would I sneak in quietly and just kind of scoop them up out of bed and carry them out to the TV half asleep? 

Would they be 21 and in college, wanting to know why their Dad was calling to bug them so late because they're busy hanging out with their way cooler friends? 

Who knows.

But for now, it'll have to wait. Again.

that post where I'm emotional about The Ballpark

I'd be naive to think this was never going to happen.  I knew it would come at some point.  But I really didn't think it would happen so soon.  Gut reaction is I'm sad.  I know the new park will be all new and cool and "oh hey man, there's a roof and AC and everything."  But to borrow a page from my 3 year old's handbook "noooooooo, I don't wanna!"   

Ok, sure.  Some of you are telling me to grow up, and deal with it.  It's just a Ballpark.  But you see, to me, it's not just a ballpark.  It's the spot where ten years ago, I first met my husband.  Poof - blown up.  It's the place where we had our wedding reception.  Poof - blown up.  It's the park where I met some incredible people.  It's where my kids, especially my oldest, developed a passion and love for the game that I dare say rivals almost any other 3 year old out there - it's where she even had her birthday party a month ago. I know there will be new memories and milestones and traditions created somewhere a few hundred yards to the southwest.  But my gut reaction is I'm sad.  And don't tell me I'm not allowed to be.

October 2008

March 21, 2009

opening day 2010

October 2010

my sporty parental units

sports sally

me being the bet Aunt ever, September 2011

39 weeks pregnant with Madeline

Madeline's first game June 15, 2013

Norah's first game May 2, 2015

my people

Fan Fest January 23, 2016

Opening Day - April 6, 2016

and I mean, this happened at the Ballpark - May 15, 2016